Bath Towel Issues
Thank you for reading my blog,
My week started with the office manager coming back to work feeling a little better after being sick on Friday with a fever. I kept a distance from her, along with her coming back to work not at a hundred percent, then later in the day a kid got sick that I had to clean up. This makes me start to ruminate about getting sick for the reason I’m going to Disneyland with my family in a couple of weeks and do not want to get sick. I really will have to push myself not to ruminate about getting sick along with not doing compulsions. It will not be easy. Some days I feel I’m doing great with my OCD, and other days I feel like I’m headed back towards 2023 again. This is mostly since mom passed away in February. Rachel keeps me on the right path.
Talking about Rachel. I had therapy on November 18, 2025 - We talked about me writing an apology email to her on how I reacted to her suggesting to put a toothbrush holder in the bathroom last time. How my apology email is my OCD apologizing. After she explained it to me it made sense that it is my OCD apologizing. I did bring up to her at the end of my session about washcloths in the hall closet along with buying new washcloths and towels. I also mentioned that I still do not keep my towel in the bathroom that I use to shower with. She said something like I need to keep it in the bathroom. I told her I’m not ready for that. I was a lot nicer this time for the reason I was prepared for when I brought it up. I’m having a hard time with leaving my towel in the bathroom and reusing it with people using the bathroom, even if it is only one person going in the bathroom. Them touching it before, during and after using the bathroom, or even them breathing/coughing on it bothers me. I would have to change it on a daily basis. I am very bothered by this. Maybe even distraught. The bath with the shower is a very very small bathroom that everyone who comes over uses. I’m not ready to put my towel in the bathroom yet. I put my toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom in a holder. I know I need to eventually put my towel in the bathroom seeing that it is my OCD keeping me from doing it. I know I’m procrastinating doing it. Rachel along with others will tell me it will only get harder to do. That might be true, but for right now I cannot do it. I know the only person I’m hurting is myself by not doing it. What is really ridiculous is that I’m the only one here right now. My aunt will not be here until Tuesday and my niece till Wednesday, so I could put my towel in the bathroom at least till then, but I still don’t. That is how strong my OCD is holding me hostage right now about putting my towel in the bathroom. The thing is that there are a lot of what if’s that come in my mind. Let’s call it what it is. I’m ruminating about my towel being in the bathroom. It’s time to move on. As I was walking out the door I told her I was thinking about trying a dating app. She told me that she knows people who have used a dating app and it went well for them, and we will discuss that next session. The reason I’m thinking about using a dating app is I haven’t dated in over six years, I’m an introvert, I don’t drink or do drugs of any kind, and I’m not in any social circles. I feel I’m ready to date again. Have you tried a dating app? If so, how was it?
Thursday was the Thanksgiving meal at work. Before moving on if you don’t know I work doing maintenance at an elementary school prek - 4th. The week before Thanksgiving Break the school does a Thanksgiving meal and invites the children's families to join them for the meal. There will be music with decorations. I had a hard time with Rachel in my head telling me that I choose to do the compulsion. She said it to me in therapy on Tuesday again when talking to her about how I cannot put my towel in the bathroom for I would have to change it every day. She told me no I don’t that I choose to do the compulsion. She is right. Today I helped out and didn’t wear gloves, so I washed my hands after doing the trash or helping with the tables when I got stuff on my hands. With the trash I washed them every time because I cannot get out of my head that it is trash. Meaning in my mind it is stuff that is gross or not wanted, so it is contaminated. I did good with the tables for the reason the only time I washed my hands was when I got something on them like mash potatoes, gravy, milk, etc. At home I dump the trash with gloves, but I now put a new trash bag in without gloves. I also dump the recycling can into the outside one without gloves now.
I do have a lot to work on, at the same time I have come a long way. I don’t want you to think that my struggles with my own OCD right now or ever is discouraging for you to not try to beat your OCD or anything else you are trying to beat. I’m writing this blog to help show you my daily struggles with my OCD. How far I have come. How I will not give up, or let OCD beat me down the way it did ever again. Yes, I have stuff I struggle with every day despite that I’m doing really good with my OCD. I didn’t quit my job in 2023, I’m not home bound, I get to hug people again, and get to do a lot of other things because I keep pushing through my struggles with the help of God and Rachel. Thank you to both.
If you would like to contact me for any reason, I now have a contact me tab at the top of the page.
January 10, 2026 is Phoenix One Million Steps for OCD Walk. 8:00 a.m. - 10:30 a.m. at Kiwanis Park, Temp, Arizona, Check in at Ramada 14
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
