Emotions
Hi Everyone,
Last week I talked about how OCD started in my life. How OCD took control of my entire life. Everything I did in my life was OCD centered. Let me put it this way, before I did something, I would ask my OCD self first if it was okay to do or to do it that way. It sounds crazy, nevertheless that is how my OCD worked. I didn’t realize it at the time, nevertheless my therapist helped me see this. With OCD comes all kinds of emotions. These are some that I experienced: scared/frightened, shame, lonely, embarrassed, angry, nervous, depressed, helpless, and maybe some more. Some of these emotions happen all at the same time. You are thinking how can you have several emotions all at the same time. Let me explain. When I go to grab a door handle I get filled with emotions. In a split second I’m scared/frightened, nervous, embarrassed, lonely, helpless, shame, angry and lastly depressed. I want to grab the door handle, however my OCD kicks in and says to me you are going to get sick, then give your sickness to a loved one and they will die. Is that what you want? I say no. I am nervous, scared/frightened to grab the door handle for OCD has said to me. I am embarrassed due to the fact that I’m wondering who is watching me touch this door handle, or the way I’m touching the door handle, or waiting for someone to open the door for me. It is lonely for me being in this situation seeing that I feel isolated from everyone at this very moment. It is me, the door handle, and my OCD. Not being able to fend off my OCD makes me feel helpless. I do shame myself for not being able to grab the door handle. I am angry with myself for letting OCD win yet again. Lastly comes depression for the reason of everything I just said. I don’t know if all these emotions are true with everyone who has OCD, but for me they are. Several months into my therapy, my therapist gave me an emotional wheel, so I could write down all the feelings I was experiencing at the time. As a man we cannot usually tell what kind of feeling we are having, let alone tell someone about them. The emotional wheel was very helpful to me. This is what happens to me. Everyone will be different. If you don’t have OCD, or any kind of anxiety, but know someone who does, I hope this blog helps you to maybe understand what they might be going through, or get brave enough to ask them what they are going through. Please get the help you need to get better with OCD or whatever you need help with. If you are curious about shaming, then I would recommend you look into Brene Brown. She has written books on this plus did a TEDx talk as well.
October 11, 2025 is Phoenix One Million Steps for OCD Walk. 8:00 a.m. - 10:30 a.m.
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T Agnelli
