Touching Things
The week before I told you that OCD turned my life upside down, and in time it did. I pretty much would ask my OCD how I should do things. This might sound crazy nevertheless in a way it is true. As I stopped touching door handles and push bars everywhere I went, so came the way I turned on lights, opened up kitchen cabinets, file cabinets, drawers of all kinds, the way I look at people, having no one touch me, or even eat with them. Everything in my life was about OCD, and only OCD. Before I touched or grabbed something I processed how I was going to touch it, grab it, or clean or wash my hands. Let me say before moving on that anyone without OCD just goes to open a door, kitchen cabinets, or a different type of drawer without thinking about how to do it. Same goes with a light switch or anything else. With OCD it is different. I think and study how to get around something that everyone else has touched without touching it. Makes me sound kind of like a burglar trying to break in somewhere. Some examples of this. Let’s start with walking out of my home and grabbing the door handle. Most of the time I used a tissue to open the door, then through it away leaving the door open for flies to get in, then I would close the door by grabbing where no one else grabs, which is the side of the door next to the door jam way up high, and pull it closed, then use my key to lock it if I had too. If for some reason I touched the door wrong or I just felt the need to wash my hands because something felt wrong, then I would go wash my hands, if I was caring anything then that stuff would get wiped off with Clorox wipes, and I would start the whole process over again. Actually this would happen everywhere I went. If I was at someone’s house I would have wipes in the vehicle to wash my hands and stuff off before getting into the truck, plus wipe off my keys and the door handle of the truck too. A light switch where everyone else does from bottom to top and top to bottom to turn them on/off, I turn them on from the side by pressing sideways, then if that was it enough, I would wipe my finger I used to turn on/off the light switch on my shirt or pants where I felt was clean. Sometimes if my OCD was speaking to me in high volume that day, I would wash my hands after turning on/off the light switch. Like I said above, anyone without OCD just goes to open kitchen cabinets, or different types of drawers without thinking, however an OCD mind is different. I don’t want to touch where everyone else did, so I don’t contaminate myself to get sick or getting someone else sick and then dying. Cabinets along with drawers can be opened from the bottom and the sides all though it is not always easy to do. In that case I go wash my hands or use wipes.
Can you maybe see how my emotions I was talking about last week can be overwhelming or crazy with someone with OCD? It is a lot of pressure I put on myself to not get contaminated to get sick or someone else sick and then dying. If you didn’t read last week's Blog, please go back to read what I wrote about emotions.
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
October 11, 2025 is Phoenix One Million Steps for OCD Walk. 8:00 a.m. - 10:30 a.m.
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
United States & Global
Thank you for reading my Blog.
Tracy T. Agnelli
