Is OCD A Single Story
Thank you for reading,
The started out with my OCD going full throttle. On Monday I prayed to God and talked to him a lot for the reason I figured I needed to repent. I was really worried that the stuff that is happening in my life is due to the fact that I needed to repent for what I don’t know. I started talking to God on the way to work, and throughout the day. I came up with a few items that might have been on God’s list for me to repent for. I thought about this on and off the rest of the week. I just pray it works.
A couple of days later before leaving for work I thought I really needed to talk and pray to God this morning for I have so much I'm going in my head this morning. I decided this is most likely my OCD and I told myself that I will not talk/ pray to God. This was very difficult for me to do. I think some days that not talking or praying to God affects my driving to work. Have you ever driven somewhere and on the way you cannot remember two miles of the drive. This is what it is like for me when I don’t talk or pray to God on the way to work sometimes. It is also a little stressful trying not to do something you normally do.
I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the podcasts I like to listen to is The Dead Life Podcast with Allison Dubios. She is a medium, who can talk to the dead. I think it is interesting. For some reason lately I’m feeling convicted for wanting to listen to the podcast. I know this is about God. It says in the Bible stuff about not listening to mediums or going to them or something. I don’t remember what the Bible actually says. I just know that the Bible isn’t too fond of mediums. Some days I'm just not sure what to do.
Rachel wants me to write down what kind of relationship I want with God. I’ve had a hard time with this. I’ve even tried to Google it along with Youtube something about it. The thing is I want it laid out for me like in black and white. I realized it isn’t going to be that way. I need to search within myself what kind of relationship I want with God. I believe I’ve been procrastinating with this seeing that I don’t know how to have a relationship with God. It has been a long time since I’ve been in any relationship now that I think about it. I don’t even know if I’ve ever thought about what I want from any kind of relationship in my life. I guess it is time I find out.
Last Friday night after the dance lessons during the social dance, I actually asked someone to dance before leaving, which is a big improvement from the last three or four weeks. Lately, I would stand around for about ten minutes, then leave. The problem I have is if I’m not at least okay at doing something and I have to do something with a partner, then I have a hard time being someone's partner. I don’t like to let others down, or be the problem. I know the only way to get better is to practice. The issue is swing dancing takes two people and I’m only one person, so it is hard to practice by yourself at home. I feel strange trying to practice moves without holding on to someone. There is another dance convention this weekend. I’m going just for today. I will let you know how it goes.
I told you I like to write. I was listening to a writing podcast the other day to which they mentioned that if you've never listened to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: The Danger of a Single Story on Youtube you should. This was really good. She made me think of more than just writing.
Do you think of yourself as a single story? I believe some of us that have OCD, or some kind of anxiety at times thinking of ourselves as a single story. Some days I feel that I’m only my OCD. On these days I need to remember I’m more than just my OCD. I’m a son, father, grandfather, writer, maintenance man, child of God, OCD advocate and much more. Don’t ever think of yourself as a single story. You are so much more. Don’t let OCD win.
Here is the link to the Youtube video of the single story if you want to watch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ihs241zeg
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
