Smoother Week With OCD
Thank you for reading,
This week was smoother. I saw Rachel, my therapist , on Tuesday. We went over my roller coaster of a week, plus moving my life forward with the stuff I prioritize. Rachel told me she was on another podcast, and I should listen to it. Intrusive Thoughts Unmasked Podcast with Chrissie Hodges. Chrissie Hodges does OCD Gamechangers among everything else she does. OCD Gamechangers does stuff to help support people with OCD. One thing they do is events online and in person, and have people talk about their experience with OCD. There have been two online events that I have experienced. One of the online experiences I told about myself for five minutes to a group of 683, and then the other online experience I just listened to others and their experiences. You have to sign up and pay a small amount like ten dollars to be a part of the online experiences, but the stories and performances that are done are well worth more than that. These are closed sessions, so only the people who paid will see you do and get the replay. The in-person ones are small, around forty people or less. I have been to one of them, and enjoyed it. Now the podcast episode I listened to was about acceptance. There were a total of four people speaking about what acceptance was to them. I really liked the podcast. I felt that Rachel was talking to me about acceptance. She said that we let fear, grief, sadness or anger be in charge of the entirety of what we see instead of being a part of what we are going through. Acceptance is the difference between I hate that this is happening and what matters most in how I choose to respond. One of the others affected me more too, but they were all good. I listened to Rachel’s part twice. This podcast is well worth listening. I came home and started writing what I needed to accept: mom’s passing, putting dad in a home, this is my house now, I don’t have endless amounts of money, Rachel is my therapist and not a friend. These are a few that I had written down. During the week I have added a few more, and might add some more before this weekend is done. Acceptance along with change is hard for me. As I am writing this acceptance and change may go hand and hand. If you have acceptance then is change easier? I’m not sure, but as of this moment I’m thinking it will be.
Another ODC I have that Rachel and I touched on is me not wanting to be late. I need to work on this. I get up early to write. Not just this, but everything from picture books to novels. I may not be very good, however I love doing it. Practice makes perfect. I do this most days. I get to every place anywhere between thirty minutes to an hour early. I have noticed lately that I’m more stressed driving to get to places I need to be at a set time. I’m also going a little faster. I’m talking ten miles an hour, but I don’t need or want a ticket. Once I get to where I’m going I feel relief. Yes, I have to wait, but I’m not late. That is important to me, and has been all my life. I cannot stand being late or people who are late. I don’t care if it is one minute. For my own good I need to fix this, so I can stop stressing and driving fast. I don’t need either one in my life.
At Tai Chi today I realized for the past two or three weeks that I’m paying attention to people. I notice if they cough in their hands, what they sound like, and I’m worried about them sitting in my chair that has my water bottle in it. I’m the only one who doesn’t put it on the floor. If I spent more time talking to people when we were not doing Tai Chi it may help me to stop paying attention to them. I rarely talk to anyone at Tai Chi. I have always had a hard time making conversations with people even if I know them. This is the second time I’m doing this class, and there are about twenty people in it. It has been going on for four weeks now, I would guess I have said a total of fifty words or less the entire four weeks. I know I’m a total introvert. I need to come out of my shell sometime. Are you an introvert who came out of your shell? If so, how did you do it?
“If you’re going to go anywhere in life, you have to read a lot of books.” - Roald Dahl
“The greatest gift that you can give yourself is a little bit of your own attention.” — Anthony J. D’Angelo
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
