Would You Rather
Thank you for reading,
At work someone changes the Would You Rather board every other week. This Would You Rather was a little disturbing to not just me, nevertheless I ruminated about it a lot. I wanted to be able to answer the question. I wanted to say I overcame this incredibly hard thing with my OCD. If you don’t know, I have Contamination OCD. I pondered it all the time. I would stop and stare at the board thinking I could do one of these, but which one. My OCD tells me that both can get me sick, however which one would get me the least sick, or is the least discussing to do. I never did answer the question. Here is the question: Would You Rather clean a public restroom without gloves or drink a glass of murky pond water. I know you are probably thinking that after you clean the public restroom without gloves, then you could wash your hands. That to me is still a compulsion, and OCD wins. The way I look at it is OCD won for the reason I wasn’t able to answer the question. What is your opinion?
One other thing that happened this week that I’m still having a hard time with is when I was doing yard work I stepped in feces. Most likely it was a cat because I don’t have any animals, and when my aunt comes to visit she picks up after her dog. She hasn’t been here for several months due to the fact of my plumbing issues. When doing lawn work I wear a N95 mask. I walked several steps in the house on the tile floor before taking off my mask to realize I stepped in something. I went back outside and hosed off my shoes. I did both even though only one had something on it. The feces was only in the arch of my shoe. I took my shoes off right inside the door since they were wet. I started to go get a mop to mop the whole floor on the account of what I stepped in. I stopped. Thought what would Rachel tell me to do. Use your eyes. I didn’t see anything in the area I walked. I thought of how I should mop the floor at the same time I didn’t see anything. I choose not to mop. All night into the rest of week I ruminated on how I should have mopped the floor. I will mop the floor this weekend. I did a compulsion with my shoes. I wiped them off with Clorox Wipes to make sure they were clean. I don’t feel like I did a win by not mopping the floor, since I ruminated a lot about it, and wiped off my shoes with Clorox Wipes. This is a win for OCD in my book. What do you think?
Walt Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” Can you or do you imagine or dream of yourself beating OCD, anxiety, or whatever you are trying to beat? I don’t do it enough, however I do pray to beat it every day.
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
