Being Busy with OCD
Thank you for reading,
The last week of school is very busy. When I get busy, I just do stuff automatically. Even though I do a lot less compulsion now than I did a couple years back, I sometimes do a compulsion or something in a certain way that I touch things for the reason that I’ve done it that way with my OCD for so long. I really have to pay attention when I’m busy to not do a compulsion that I haven’t done in a long time.
I want to make my life a normal habit life, and not a compulsion habit life. If that makes sense. In case someone who doesn’t have OCD reads this let me explain. I have Contamination OCD, and instead of doing something like turning on a light or opening a door the right way. I do it differently or avoid it completely. I am going to do everything the normal way some day without having to think of how to do it before I do it. It will be just a habit and not an OCD habit because some day I will have OCD gone from my life forever.
That being said, I did try to pick trash up off the ground without wearing gloves or using anything but my bare hands however I didn’t succeed. I am doing better with picking up clothes, lunch boxes, and stuff being left outside. Ya me!
I did email the kitchen manager with an apology first thing Monday morning. She did respond by accepting my apology.
I’ve told you that I started taking West Coast Swing Dance class on Friday nights about two months ago. I’ve been doing really well with touching people and people touching me. I did however notice last night that I’m paying attention to people who have their own dancing shoes. When they are changing into them are they touching the bottom of their shoes, then I started to wonder what else they are touching and are they going to wash their hands. I told myself to just stop it. You need not to worry about that, just enjoy learning dancing. I watched the class before mine finishing up, which is line dancing, and moved on with my night.
Moving on can be extremely difficult to do with losing someone, something, a job and the list goes on, however moving on from doing compulsions can feel even harder with OCD. Then if you add in any other losses or stressors in addition to you trying to move on from doing compulsions with your OCD, life can feel overwhelming and sometimes impossible at times to stop. It can be done. You need to have the right support in place, mind set, a great therapist, faith, but it can be done. Don’t let your OCD tell you anything different.
I know at times I go backwards a step or two despite that I try to make forward progress in beating my OCD every day. Yes, some days and weeks are better than others. OCD will not stop me from my goal some day to be completely rid of OCD.
You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." — Martin Luther King Jr.
Stay positive, keep the faith... your breakthrough may be just around the corner." — Roy T. Bennett
"Every day is a new beginning. Take a deep breath, smile, and start again." — Unknown
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." — Seneca
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
