Disneyland
Thank you for reading my blog,
I went to Disneyland with my family. There were fifteen of us in all. I flew and everyone else drove. I wrote down how I was doing during my trip. These are some of my notes.
After getting through the security check point I put on my mask. I took off my mask after getting into Uber on my way to the hotel. I noticed a lot of people coughing and sneezing, especially in their hands on my way to Disneyland. There are a lot of people here. It makes me rethink about not wearing a mask. It has been hard and it has only been six hours. It is going to be a long trip.\
I saw more people sneezing and coughing into their hands. Don’t people care about others anymore? Am I being too ridiculous? Please let me know.
When I came into my hotel room I looked around at it like most people do, except I was looking more closer, and one thing I noticed right away is the one queen bed looked like some sat on the bed, and maybe put their head on the pillow, so I put my luggage on that bed and slept in the other. Everything else was okay until I turned on the shower, and there was a long black hair on the shower handle.
The next day with my entire family at Disneyland, I started to worry about getting sick, with so many people here at Disneyland along with them coughing, sneezing into their hands or not covering their mouth at all. My mind starts ruminating. I even missed something people were talking about because of my rumination. I figured my mind was better spent on listening and communicating with others, however at times I went back to ruminating. I really don’t want to get sick. I know that people can talk themselves into being sick with me having a little more sinuses issues here than in Arizona, getting over tired, and not eating properly, I could get sick without talking myself into it. I'm a person who might be able to talk myself into being sick.
December 6, 2025 - I am a little upset with myself for I put out notes to have the cleaners not to touch the bed. Sometimes Rachel is in my head, and she’s been there most of the week saying two things. One, you choose to do compulsions. Second, you have a choice to move yourself to the life you want or an OCD life. At Disneyland a man is coughing into his hands. One and then the other. I've been counting how many times he does it. I don't know why. It isn't going to be a good today. I have to stop.
I realize right now that I am having a lot of negative thoughts and sayings to myself and blaming my OCD without even trying to be positive. I am going to start thinking and saying more positive things to myself.
I had a hard time today wondering what the cleaners would do in my room. I had to keep pushing it out, and tell myself it would be fine, then I would move on for a little while until it came back in.
The cleaners did follow my notes. Let me explain my notes and why I put them out. I use a pillow between my legs instead of bringing a knee pillow with me on trips. I’m afraid if I let the cleaners make the bed the usual way then I will not know which pillow I used for between my legs. I don’t want to use the same pillow between my legs as my head pillow. I think this is gross. I try not to have them clean at all, I put out notes, or don’t use a pillow between my legs, which I don’t like to do. I also don’t like people coming into my room, and not knowing what they have touched or how they have cleaned. I started doing the notes when I went to New York in 2023. Rachel found out and told me I needed to stop, and let people come in to clean. It is my OCD not letting them in. I will work on this along with several other things.
I wore my mask to fly home today.
I had a really good time. My family knows that I have OCD, but I’m not sure they understand how much is going on in an OCD person's head. It is lonely at times. I also don’t want to bother them with my OCD all the time, especially when we are all having a good time.
I did realize on this trip that I am being more negative, and blaming my OCD on a lot of things that might not be my OCD. I don’t have any examples at this time, but what I think I’m trying to say is it is time to man up. Stop making excuses. I need to do better with all parts of my life that includes my OCD. I need to take my time doing stuff, and if it is tough for any reason, I need to push through it. When I do say or think something negative, I need to right away change my saying or thinking to something positive. Let me end with what I think is a positive in my book. Even with wearing a mask on the airplanes, and doing the hotel room notes, I have to admit that I didn’t wear a mask while I was at Disneyland for four entire days. Yes, I did do some ruminating, however this is a big positive in my book. Always find some positive stuff in your life all the time. We all need it.
If you would like to contact me for any reason, I now have a contact me tab at the top of the page.
January 10, 2026 is Phoenix One Million Steps for OCD Walk. 8:00 a.m. - 10:30 a.m. at Kiwanis Park, Temp, Arizona, Check in at Ramada 14
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
