Hotels and OCD
Thank you for reading,
I’ve been in a hotel all week due to the fact that my bathrooms are finally getting done. The company told me they would be done on Friday, it is now Saturday, and they aren’t even done with one. I checked out of the hotel believing that they would have at least one done today. Well, after checking out at the hotel at 8 a.m. this morning I got to the house with no one there, and not any of the bathrooms were even close. I text the project manager for him to tell me they would be done today. I asked what time 4 p.m. or later. He told me probably later. There was no way I was going to be able to stay there tonight, so I called the hotel back and made another reservation. I asked for the same room or a similar room on floor one. This is less than an hour after I checked out. I asked for the same room on the first floor. The person told me no problem. I’m on the fourth floor and my room is not even close to the same area I was in.
The first day in the hotel I started having some issues with my OCD. The sink handle I could turn on fine, but I was using tissues to turn it off. I started to ruminate about other people touching the handle after washing their hands and how it could be contaminated. The second day I had to stop my compulsions. I had to use my senses. I looked at the handle after washing my hands, I didn’t see anything, but I knew contamination was there. It was harder to push down than I thought it would be and my hand slipped and touched a piece where I turned it on, so I rewashed my hands. This time I turned it off, dried my hands and left. Even though I’m still having an uneasy feeling turning off the sink handle I’m not doing compulsion. At least not physical compulsions. My rumination has gotten better too.
Several times this week at work I tried to pick up stuff at work without gloves on and not do a compulsion. Either I would wipe my hand on my pants which is a compulsion, or the one time I didn’t wipe my hand on my pants I ruminated about my hand and what it was touching until I had to use the restroom a while later. That is a compulsion. In other words I failed. It isn’t from a lack of trying. The stuff outside isn’t just dirty, but it is lying on the ground that people step on, spit on, etc. Also with clothes there is a chance it could have lice. We do get lice at school at least once a year. That is still no reason to do a compulsion.
I was using a furniture dolly the other day and when I picked it up one of the wheels touched my butt. I wanna do a compulsion by wiping my butt off because the wheels were on the ground, and you know how I feel about the ground. I did good with this. I let it go with no compulsions at all.
This morning I had some issues with putting my extra shoes in their bag, along with my laundry bag and my shirt I was going to wear. I didn’t know where to put them that my mind didn’t think it was dirty. It was a little stressful for a while. I said to myself Tracy use your senses. I didn’t see anything wrong on the desk, so I put the shirt there. As for the shoes and the laundry bag, I failed. I did a compulsion because the bottom of the shoes touched the outside of the bag along with the dirty clothes touching the outside of the laundry bag.
I started to wonder the other day about how stress in my life has most likely made my OCD a little worse lately. I’m not trying to make excuses for myself, however I definitely need to do a lot better with my OCD, than I have been doing.
I will end on a good note. I had a nice time again dancing last night, and for the second week in a row I did no compulsions. This week was even better for the reason I didn’t think about how many different peoples hands I touched or didn’t even think about washing my hands at all until writing this. That is awesome.
“You don’t lose hope, love. If you do, you lose everything.” —Mrs. Potts, Beauty and the Beast.
Never stop believing you can beat whatever you have. With God all things are possible.
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
