OCD & Gratitude
Thank you for reading,
I have a gratitude journal I write in every night. I have done this for years. On occasions I write down something about my OCD. On June 9, 2026 in the book On This Bright Day, it talks about gratitude. It said to find new things to appreciate. It got me thinking about how I don’t appreciate my small wins with my OCD. Then I remembered when I started therapy Rachel had me do this by writing stuff I was proud of. I decided to have a gratitude journal for just my OCD. I started last Sunday. I told myself that I will find one thing a day to be grateful for and appreciate about how I did with my OCD for that day, even if I had a horrible day there still will be one thing to find.
This got tested this week. I woke up Wednesday morning to go eat breakfast and my feet felt wet in the hallway. I turned on the hallway light and opened up the door to the water heater to find it was leaking. It’s thirteen years old, so it was time. I turned off the water to the water heater just in case it decided to break all the way to where I only have forty gallons of water all over the house and not more. I did start to drain it, before leaving for work. Yes, I went to work. I figured I couldn’t call the plumbers until 7 a.m., along with we start at 5 a.m. during the summer, so I didn’t have to take so much time off. Even though I could have replaced the water heater myself, I decided against it for the reasons of it being a gas water heater, and I didn’t have help. I have never replaced a gas water heater before. I have helped replace one, but that isn’t the same thing. You have to be careful with gas, so I will leave it to someone who knows what they are doing.
The plumbers came out later Wednesday to assess the situation. Yes, it needed to be replaced. The man who came out is the same one who came out for the drains in the house earlier this year. When this company comes out they put on shoe covers to cover their feet for the reason of being plumbers, and not knowing everything they have gotten into. This is nice, but they keep taking them on and off every time they go in and out of the house. Yes, this bothers my OCD just a little. It bothers me that they touch the shoe cover on the inside and the outside which they have walked on with their shoes both inside and outside of the covers. Shoes walk on a lot of different things throughout the day. He went into my hallway bathroom that has the shower, and touched stuff including the shower knob. Since my shower only has one knob means there is no water to the shower. He did try to get someone to come out to replace it that day, but it just couldn’t be, so I was without a shower for a day. They came out the next day to replace the water heater.
The good and the bad. We will start with the bad. I did compulsions with the bathroom by wiping off stuff the first plumber touched along with changing out my towels. The good is that I didn’t wipe off anything else any of the plumbers touched. Are you wondering why the bathroom. That is where I get clean, and my towel should be clean too, so if someone goes into the bathroom and the shower, then it bothers me. Now, if he wouldn’t have gone and touched my towel with his clothes or the shower with his hands, then I probably would have made a case for myself to not do any compulsions. I would have ruminated about it for a while to decide whether to do something or not. It wouldn’t have been as easy a decision as it was for me. I’m not proud of what I did, but it shows me that I know I still have a ways to go to have OCD be completely gone from my life. I cannot just keep looking at the negative with my OCD, so I started a gratitude journal to focus on the positive. I wrote down that I’m still grabbing the door handle of the house the plumber touched as he was leaving the house. This might not seem much to some people, at the same time people with OCD this is big. I will take a win with my OCD where I can get it.
Another issue I’m having is at dancing with people who bring their own dancing shoes, and change them out without washing or sanitizing their hands. I know it’s my Contamination OCD in my head telling me how gross this is. I have started to ruminate on it when I’m at dance, however I have been able to stop my ruminating after only a couple minutes. I still go dance with people who have changed their shoes. I don’t do any compulsions. Ya me! This is a big win for me too.
At the end of the lesson the teacher of the dance class makes some announcements. Before I move on let me say I’ve only been dancing eight to ten weeks. I’m going to stick with it for a while. This week she told us there is going to be a shoe donation or sale next week. Dancers who have a lot of shoes can either donate them to others or sell them. I cringed at hearing this. Putting on someone else's shoes bothers me a lot. You don’t know anything about them. I know this is my OCD talking to me big time. You can spray the inside of the shoes just in case someone has something. Another thing you might not know about me is I worked at a bowling center for almost ten years. I wore the bowling shoes others put on before getting my own and after when I learned to bowl with the opposite hand. Another thing you are thinking is don’t you try shoes on at the store? I do on occasions. My reasoning with this is that they are new and not a lot of people have tried them on, if any. I usually look for the ones that the inside paper isn’t messed up. Why does it bother me? It shouldn’t, but it does. That is why I know it is my OCD.
I don’t know if I want a pair of dancing shoes or not. What is the difference between them compared to dress shoes or sneakers? I don’t know and have never asked or looked into it. I am going to the fourth of July dance weekend in a couple of weeks to which I’m praying to get a discount on a room that I missed by a week. I emailed someone and am waiting to hear back. Wish me luck.
I know life has a lot of obstacles that happen to all of us, on top of that, if you have some type of anxiety like OCD it makes life some days even harder. Every win I can put down in my OCD Gratitude Journal is big to me, no matter how big or small it is. I like and need to see some positiveness in all parts of my life especially on the bad days with my OCD. I figure I can go back to reread what I’ve written down in the past if I ever need a boost, or to show myself that I have done some hard things to beat my OCD. I believe I remember someone told me once that our brains are wired to remember the negative more than the positive. You may think about starting an OCD Gratitude Journal to remind yourself on a daily basis of what you’ve accomplished combined with being able to go back to reread it when you need a boost. You never will know if it works until you try it.
"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings." — William Arthur Ward
We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. - George Bernard Shaw
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
https://ocdaz.org/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
