Thank you for reading.
I hope everyone had a Safe and Great Halloween. I had a pretty good week. Thursday at work we did a trunk or treat. I’m part of the front office, so we did Grease for ours. Work on Friday was a little crazy with all the rain and activities going on, however it was still fun and good. I work at an elementary school doing maintenance, so at Halloween the preschool and kindergartens do a parade to show off their costumes. All the other classes and staff who can go out into the hallways cheer them on as they go by.
I went dressed up as Shaggy from Scooby Doo to go dancing on Friday night. I bought it new online. I was going to go buy a used costume on Saturday also. Why? To help with my OCD. When I went looking for a used costume I felt some anxiety about buying something used and wearing it. Unfortunately, I ran short on time to go buy a used costume. It is interesting when I was a child my mother bought most of my clothes from yard sales. Now, I buy new clothes. Buying used clothes wouldn’t bother me. What I think about costumes that bother me is not being able to wash parts of the costume like the wig or a mask, then putting them on.
I haven’t wiped off the couch. I did sit one time on the middle cushion where I didn’t see my aunt put feet on. I know I need to just sit on the couch. The couch is in the family room. I don’t watch TV in the family room. I do go through the family room to do stuff, but that is about it. I watch TV in the living room where my TV has been set up for over ten years. When my aunt comes down or people come over is when the family room gets used the most. As I’m writing this Rachel is in my head saying this is another area you are rigid. I have had my son ask me why I still watch TV on my 43 inch when there is a 75 inch TV in the family room. It may be time to adjust. When my aunt isn’t here use the family room, and when she is here use the living room. Something for me to think about.
My OCD with the couch isn’t letting up. I’ve said in the past how I’ve had issues with shoes and feet. How people walk on everything, so they have everything on the bottom of their shoes and feet. Me sitting on the couch after someone has put their shoes or feet on it without wiping it off makes me think that I’m taking their shoes or feet and rubbing them all over my body. This bothers me a great deal. I think for now I will keep sitting on the middle cushion, until I see Rachel this next week. I know what she will tell me to do is to just sit on the cushions that my aunt put her shoes and feet on. That I will be okay. She will do her magic to help me see things in a different perspective too. I cannot understand how she does it to help my mind see things in a different way to help me with my OCD, nevertheless she does. She is amazing and a blessing.
I’ve been taking Tai Chi for a little over a year. I go to the front right corner of the room. I don’t hide in the back, however I do hide on the side. Half way through class my instructor asked me to come to the center of the class for me to lead. My nerves shot straight up. I was so nervous about messing up with all eyes on me that I was extremely stiff and shaking the entire time. I don’t mind being in front of people when I know what I’m doing or saying. I didn’t feel I was ready for this. I want to have some notice along with having my stuff down to nearly perfect before doing something. By the time the class finished an hour later, my shaking was gone, but still had some adrenalin. I thanked my instructor for trusting me to lead the class.
Properly used, positive reinforcement is extremely powerful. - B. F. Skinner
I try to stay as positive as possible with everything, especially my OCD. I told you I started an OCD gratitude journal a while back. This shows me I can do the hard stuff with OCD. I believe you do need to stay connected with someone for positive reinforcement, a therapist, a partner, family member, a community. Trying to beat OCD on your own I feel is pretty much impossible. Don’t get down on yourself if you do a compulsion. Try to find a positive somewhere. Example: I waited a whole minute before doing the compulsion. Next time I will wait two minutes or will not do it at all. Places to find a community is IOCDF.org, and Chrissie Hodges has a community too. I believe there is a monthly fee for her community.
I just thought of the game show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Where you can call a friend for help. I believe other organizations do this too. If you do have someone or community you can call to help you when you are thinking of doing a compulsion it might help. This is just a thought that popped into my mind.
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
