Thank you for reading,
I’ve had a good week, despite work and the children at work being a little crazy. Right now in my life I’m doing good mentally and physically. I know everything can change on a dime. I’m not going to worry about that. I used to worry about that. I’m trying not to worry about tomorrow as much like the Bible says in Matthew 6:34. I’m enjoying and getting through the day I have right now.
I still have obstacles with my OCD on a daily basis. I still have to make sure I stand up to my OCD every day in order for me not to get in a place I don’t ever want to be again. I know people have relapses with OCD coming back. I pray for their quick recovery from the OCD relapse.
Talking about standing up to my OCD this week I saw Rachel. In last week's blog I told you that I would discuss with Rachel about shoes being on the couch and me not sitting on where the shoes were. She has a way with talking to me about my OCD to help me change my mind and attitude with my OCD. Our discussion went on for several minutes. I should be ready for anything with Rachel after three and a half years with her, however sometimes she catches me off guard. As she is talking to me, she takes her hand and wipes it on the bottom of her shoe, then reaches to shake my hand. I couldn’t do it. We keep talking a little while later she wipes the bottom of her shoe with her hand again, then reaches to shake my hand. I didn’t shake it. A little bit later I was ready to shake her hand after she wiped the bottom of her shoe. Then I rubbed my hands together, then I rubbed them on my face and arms. This may seem extreme, however it does help me. I’ve contaminated my entire body. I have no extra clothes to change into, and no way to wash my entire body. I have to move on with my life until I get home, which will be over an hour later. One thing to note here is I’m in a much better place in my life than I used to be. I probably wouldn’t have done this several years back. I also had Rachel right there to help me through it if I needed her, so I wasn’t alone when I did it. I truly believe in having a great therapist by your side to help you beat your OCD.
The next day at work, I moved the floor mats in the gym with my bare hands. I usually use my foot, or a glove. The day after that I sat on the couch where my aunt put her feet. You might be thinking, Wow, he is cured that quick. No, I’m not cured. I still have thoughts about shoes, floors, germs, however this is a step towards beating this one part of my OCD. I will have to do something with shoes, floor, etc. every day or so to show myself that I can touch or sit on stuff that has touched the floor. This will show my brain that I can do it without having any problem.
I’m going to work on my rigidness this week and keep sitting on the couch at the same time. I’m going to set up the room with the seventy-five inch TV in it for me this week. I will see how it goes.
One last thing that I’m excited about is for the first time since I started seeing Rachel three and half years ago, I’m going a whole month until I see her again. I think one time I’ve gone three weeks just for the reason of our schedules not working out. I have to admit I’m a little nervous about going so long without seeing her. I know in my heart it is time and I’m ready.
Freedom Lies in being bold. - Robert Frost
Here are some websites to find help with your OCD.
In Arizona
https://ocdandptsdtherapy.com/
United States & Global
Please remember that I am not a therapist, but a person who has OCD, cares about others, and wants to help any way I can. I am not giving advice. I am just telling my own experiences, and praying my experiences help someone. If you need help please go get the help you need.
Until next time,
Tracy T. Agnelli
